The Breath of Love
Author
Most Venerable Bhante Vimalaramsi Mahàthera
Five Aggregates
This psycho-physical process is made up of five different
aggregates which are affected by craving and clinging. The
meditator has a physical body, feeling (both mental and
physical), perception (a process of naming things), thoughts,
and consciousness. Knowing this, you can clearly see that feeling
is one thing and thoughts are another.
Unfortunately, all of us have developed the habit of trying to
think feeling away. This only makes the feeling bigger and more
intense. As a result, more pain and suffering arise.
When you practice the Buddha’s meditation method, you begin
to understand and let go of this old habit of thinking the feeling.
Thus, when a feeling arises, no matter whether it is physical or
emotional, first, let go of any thoughts about the feeling and
relax the tightness in your head caused by that movement of
mind’s attention.
Next, let go of that tight mental hold around that feeling. Now
relax the tightness in the head and feel mind expand. Notice
it becomes calm and tranquil. Next, smile and redirect mind’s
attention back to the breath and relaxing.
When you do this, you are seeing the true nature of that feeling:
It wasn’t there. Then, it arose by itself, i.e. this is change or
impermanence. You certainly do not request for this incredibly
painful sensation to arise, nor do you ask at that time to feel
angry, sad, fearful, depressed, doubtful or whatever the “catch
of the day” happens to be.
A feeling arises by itself, without your desire for it to arise. They
last as long as they last. The more you try to control, fight with,
or push away a feeling or you try to think the feeling away, the
longer it stays and becomes much bigger and extra intense.
This is because whenever you want to control a feeling, you
are identifying with that sensation or emotion as being yours
personally (craving)! You tend to think about how much it hurts,
where it came from, why it has to bother you now? “Oh! I hate
that feeling and I want it to go away.”
Every thought about the feeling is the ego-identification (which
is craving and then clinging) with that feeling. Every time you
try to resist what is happening in the present moment, you are
fighting with the “Dhamma of the Present Moment”. You are
fighting with the Truth!
When a painful or even a pleasant feeling arises, the Truth is—it
is there. Any resistance, trying to control it, wishing it away with
thoughts, or fighting that feeling in any way, only causes more
suffering to arise. Actually whenever a feeling arises, you open
mind, let go of the want to control, lovingly accept the fact that
this feeling is there, and relax and smile—allow it to be there by
itself.
“Don’t Resist Or Push. Soften and Smile”. This DROPSS is the
key to having an accepting open mind which later develops into
equanimity. Any slight resistance or tightness means that there
is some craving or ego-identification still attached to it.
Let’s say that a friend or a boss came up and scolded you in
the early morning after you went to work. What happened to
your mind? If you were like most people—you would have
scolded them back because you were angry and ready to fight
back. When the friend or boss went away, what did you think
about? What you said? What your friend, or boss said? What
you should have said? “I’m right for feeling the way I do and for
what I said. They are wrong for what they said and did.“ And so
it goes on in your mind. This feeling of anger is strong and there
were thoughts which were attached to that feeling.
After a little while you distract yourself with some other activities.
But the anger is still there and if someone comes to talk to you,
chances are good that you will complain about your other friend
or boss who scolded you.
So, at that time you are giving your dissatisfaction and anger to
someone else and that affects them in a negative way. At different
times during the day, these feelings and the thoughts that are
attached to them arise. As a matter of fact, these thoughts are
just like they were recorded on a cassette tape with a permanent
loop going around and around.
They come back in the same order and with exactly the same
words. After the end of the day you would have distracted
yourself so much that this feeling doesn’t come up so often. Then
comes the time to sit in meditation and purify mind. But what
arises? This feeling of anger, and the associated thoughts come
up! Thus, here we go again.
But this time, you 6R as you let go of getting involved with those
feelings and thoughts, you begin to relax. Seeing that these
thoughts cause the feeling to grow, you then begin to soften
mind’s attention. “Never mind! It just isn’t that important.” You
Soften... “Let it be”... open mind and let go of that tight mental
knot around these thoughts and gently relax the tightness in your
head. You let go of the aversion to the feeling and you feel mind
begin to relax, then expand, become calm, and you smile, and
then redirect mind’s attention back to the breath and relaxing.
What a relief!
Now gently go back to the breath and, on the in-breath relax
the tightness in the head; on the out-breath relax the tightness
in the head. Always you are feeling mind open up, expand, and
become tranquil, and then you smile.
Then, the anger comes up again, and so, again you do the same
thing. You let it be there by itself without getting involved with
the thinking about it... open and relax the mental hold on it...
relax the tightness in the head... smile… softly re-direct mind’s
attention back to the breath and relaxing again. This is the
process of the 6R’s.
It doesn’t matter how many times mind’s attention goes back to
that feeling of anger. It is treated in the same way every time. You
are not taking that feeling personally when you let the feeling be
there by itself and relax.
Thus, there is no ego-identification (craving or clinging) with
that feeling. This is seeing the true nature of that feeling, isn’t
it? The feeling wasn’t there before, but now it is. This is seeing
impermanence. When that feeling arises, it takes away the
tranquility and peace. That is definitely painful, a true form of
suffering. When you allow the feeling to be there by itself without
getting involved or thinking about it and you open your mind
and relax the tightness away and smile, you are experiencing the
impersonal nature (anattà) at that time.
Thus, when you practice “Tranquil Wisdom Insight Meditation”
(TWIM), you continually experience the Three Characteristics of
Existence: impermanence, suffering, and the impersonal nature
of everything (anicca, dukkha, anattà).
As you continue to relax mind’s attention and let go of any
distraction, attachment (craving) becomes smaller and weaker.
Finally it doesn’t have enough strength to arise anymore. When
this happens, mind becomes filled with relief and joy arises.
Letting go of attachment (craving) means you become secluded
from unwholesome states. When you let go and joy arises, it lasts
for a period of time. After that, mind becomes very tranquil and
happy (sukha). Now, you will experience a mind which stays on
the object of meditation very easily. When this is done repeatedly,
mind will naturally become calm and collected by itself. At that
time, you begin to develop some equanimity and balance of
mind.
“The monk enters upon and abides in the first Jhàna (meditation
stage), which is accompanied by thinking and examining
thought, with joy and happiness born of seclusion.”
All of these different factors make up what is commonly called
the first Jhàna (meditation stage of understanding). At that time
there can still exist some very small wandering thoughts. If mind
wanders away from the breath and relaxing, you can easily let
that distraction go and relax mind, then smile. The wandering
thoughts are noticed very quickly.
Simply let go. Relax the tightness and smile before coming back
to the breath and relaxing. Some meditation teachers call this
‘access concentration’. But actually they are looking at things
from the viewpoint of “concentration meditation” and not
“Tranquil Wisdom Insight Meditation” (TWIM).
Thinking and examining thought are descriptions of the thinking
mind and discursive thinking (wandering thoughts). Some
translations call this initial and sustained thought, thinking and
pondering.
There can still be directed thoughts in each one of the different
Jhànas (meditation stages of understanding). The difference
between directed thought and wandering thoughts is: Directed
thought is about what is happening to you in the present moment.
With wandering thoughts, you think about what happened in
the past or what will happen in the future, or daydream about
what you would like to see.
Observation thoughts are a little different. For instance, ‘mind
feels very happy right now’, ‘mind is very calm’, ‘body feels very
still and peaceful right now’, etc. This is another way of looking
at examining thought.
Thinking thought is mind that notices when mind’s attention
is distracted and brings the attention back to the breath and
relaxing. Examining thought is mind that stays on the breath
and relaxing without slipping away again and it also has the
thoughts of what is happening in the present moment.
When mind’s attention begins to stay on the object of meditation
for longer and longer periods of time, relief and joy will become
quite strong. You will naturally feel like smiling because the joy
is such a pleasurable feeling in both mind and body.
At that time, the body and the mind feel very light until it is
almost like floating. This is quite a pleasant experience. Some
meditation teachers tell their students that when joy arises,
“Don’t Be Attached!” So, these students become fearful of that
joy and try to push it away so that they won’t possibly have the
chance to become attached.
However, this is not the correct thing to do because it doesn’t
matter what kind of feeling arises, either pleasurable, painful,
or neutral, your job is to see that mind stays on the breath and
relaxing and allow those feelings to be there by themselves.
If mind’s attention is pulled away by a feeling, simply let it be
there by itself and relax the tightness in the head, feel mind open
and expand, then go back to the breath. Attachment or “craving”
comes from personally getting involved with liking or disliking
what arises in the present moment. “Clinging” is the thinking
mind where concepts, opinions, ideas, and the story about
why you like or dislike that feeling arises. You will not become
attached when you allow whatever arises to be there by itself,
relax and smile, and then come back to the object of meditation.
After the joy fades away, mind will become very calm, peaceful
and comfortable. It is this comfortable and tranquil feeling that
is called “happiness born of seclusion”.
At first, you can sit in this stage of meditation for 5 or 6 minutes.
You can do this for longer periods as mind becomes quieter. This
is the first Jhàna (meditation stage of understanding) and it will
arise when you have let go of sensual pleasure for a period of
time, and have also let go of unwholesome habits or states of
mind (the craving and clinging) which stop the meditator from
having a mind without distractions in it.
Once you have experienced this state of calm, you will begin to
realize the reasons that you are meditating. At that time, mind is
nicely composed and happy with very few distractions. There is
more peace of mind than has ever been experienced before.
Then, after that experience, you become enthusiastic and want
it to happen every time you sit. BUT, that very desire to have
those calm states of mind is the very thing which stops them
from arising! You then try even harder and put in more effort.
Unfortunately, mind only becomes more and more restless and
unsettled.
This is due to the desire for something to happen in a particular
way. When it doesn’t happen that way, you have the tendency
to push harder and try to force things to become calm and
tranquil.
As a result of your attachment (craving and clinging), your desire
to have this occur as you want it to be, you can’t experience this
calm stage of meditation again. This desire causes you to lean
out of the present moment and to try to make the next present
moment the way you want it to be. When that present moment
isn’t right, you try even harder.
However, this calm state of mind will occur again when mind is
relaxed and at ease and you don’t try to push it. Just relax and
let go of that strong desire, calm down and stop expecting things
to work according to your own desires and attachments. After
the first experience of Jhàna (meditation stage of understanding),
mind may become quite active the next time you sit in meditation.
So, laugh and let it be!
But, now your mindfulness is sharp and is able to recognize
when mind’s attention goes away quickly. Then you simply let it
go, open mind up, relax, smile, and return mind’s attention back
to the breath and relaxing.
Calming and relaxing on the in-breath, calming and relaxing
mind on the out-breath helps the meditation. Before long, mind
will settle down again and the joy will arise again. When this joy
fades away, you will again experience a tranquil mind that is a
very comfortable and happy feeling, as well as a mind that is still
and at ease.
At this time, you still have the experience of all the five aggregates
(these aggregates are not affected by craving or clinging). You can
still hear things, or have feelings arise in the body. For example,
you would know when a mosquito or an ant lands on you. You
may have some thoughts about that mosquito or ant, but you
quickly recognize that this is a distraction, you 6R, and you let
it go, relax the tension in the head and mind, smile, then softly
come back to the breath and relaxing.
As you continue to relax, open and calm mind on the in and out-
breath, eventually you will arrive at a stage where there are no
more wandering thoughts and this is when you let go of all of
your thinking thoughts. This is commonly called Noble Silence.
The joy is a little stronger here, and it lasts a little longer. When it
fades away, the comfortable feeling of happiness is stronger and
the calm mind goes deeper into the breath and relaxing.
This state is described:
“again with the stilling of thinking and examining thought, the
monk, enters and abides in the second Jhàna (meditation stage
of understanding), which has self-confidence and singleness
of mind without thinking and examining thought, with joy
and happiness born of stillness of mind.”
The stilling of thinking and examining thought means that at
that time, mind becomes very still and stays on the object of
meditation quite nicely. There is no discursive thinking about the
past or future. However, there can still be observation thoughts.
Remember that true meditation is silent, open observation.
There is still feeling in the body as all of the sense doors are
working and the five aggregates are present. But, for example, if
a sound arises, it doesn’t make mind shake or move. You know
where you are and what you are doing.
The self-confidence mentioned in the sutta, comes from the
confidence you gain when you see clearly for yourself how well
the meditation works. The self-confidence not only arises when
you are sitting in meditation but, also during daily activities. The
singleness of mind means that mind is very calm and doesn’t run
around. Mind is very contented to stay on the breath and relaxing
and keep opening and relaxing on the in and out-breaths. These
are the descriptions of the first two Jhànas (meditation stages).
We now return to the ânàpànasati Sutta.
He trains thus: ‘I shall breathe in experiencing happiness’;
He trains thus: ‘I shall breathe out experiencing happiness.’
As you continue onwards with your practice and keep calming
and relaxing mind, eventually you will reach a stage where the
feeling of joy becomes too coarse and it won’t arise naturally
anymore. This is always a rather comical time for the teacher
because the meditator comes to the teacher and says:
Student: ‘There’s something wrong with my meditation!’
Teacher: ‘Why do you say that?’
Student: ‘I don’t feel any more joy’,
Teacher: ‘Is that bad?’
Student: ‘No, of course not, but still I don’t feel any more joy.
Why?’
Teacher: ‘Do you feel comfortable and more calm than ever
before and does your mind have a strong sense of balance in it
and you feel very much at ease?’
Student: ‘Yes, I feel all of that, but I don’t feel any more joy!’
Teacher: ‘Good, continue. Everything is going along just fine.
Relax and stop demanding that joy arises when you want it to.’
The joy fades away by itself, and a very strong sense of equanimity
and calm becomes apparent. You can still hear sounds, and feel
contact with the body even though eventually the body seems
to disappear. If someone were to touch you during your sitting
meditation, you would know it. It someone made a sound, you
would hear it but, your mind would not go to it. This is what is
meant when the sutta says the meditator has full awareness. It is
described as follows:
“Again, with the fading away of joy, a monk abides in
equanimity, and mindful and fully aware, still feeling
happiness (or pleasure) with the body, he enters upon and
abides in the third Jhàna (meditation stage), on account of
which noble ones announce: ‘He has a pleasant abiding who
has equanimity and is mindful’.
With the description above, you can plainly see that being in the
third Jhàna (meditation stage of understanding); mind is very
clear, alert and balanced. You are aware of what is happening
around you, but mind stays on the object of meditation easily
and comfortably.
Being alert (being mindful) and having equanimity in mind is
an unusual thing to experience because this state of meditation
is the highest and best feeling that you have ever experienced in
your whole life. Furthermore, you are not attached to it due to
the strong equanimity.
At the same time, both body and mind are exceptionally relaxed
and at ease. What a nice state to be in! This is why this state
is praised by noble ones. Besides this easing of the tightness in
the head, the body looses tension and the feeling of sensations
begin to disappear. This is because the tightness in mind causes
tension in the body. But now, mind is so comfortable and tension
free that the tension in the sensation of the body goes away.
When this happens, the body becomes so soft and comfortable
that there is nothing to feel. However, you become aware of it if
anyone were to touch you. This is the meaning of being mindful
and fully aware. Mind knows what is happening around it but it
does not shake or become disturbed.
This is what we call experiencing happiness on the in and out-
breath.
Some “Fixed Concentration Meditation” teachers say that
when one is in this state of Jhàna, the meditator can no longer
experience the body or any of the sense doors. They claim that
the meditator will not know if someone were to hit them with a
stick or someone were to change their positions of their hands
and feet. This is because their minds are so deeply absorbed
into the object that they can’t be fully aware. This is clearly not
true in the meditation described within the suttas or if one were
practicing “Tranquil Wisdom Insight Meditation” (TWIM).
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