Wednesday, May 2, 2012

The Breath of Love - Loving-kindness Meditation

The Breath of Love
Author
Most Venerable Bhante Vimalaramsi Mahàthera





2
Loving-kindness
Meditation



One of the favorite things I like to do with students who have ever
practiced the breath meditation without the 6R’s, is to ask them to
take Mettà as their object of meditation while they learning TWIM
first.  I  do  this  because  it  is  easier  for  them  to  progress  without
having to break old bad habits from a previous practice, before they
can learn to 6R smoothly.
IF they are not progressing extremely well, later on, they can decide
to go back to the breath. But usually students do not because of how
much emphasis the Buddha placed on practicing this meditation in
the texts. The Loving-kindness Meditation was practiced far more
often then the Breathing Meditation. When bad habits are already
operating with breath mediation it makes is very hard to investigate
a new practice. If their cup is full they have to empty it before they
can taste something new. If you can learn Loving-kindness from an
empty cup, you are in great shape with a beginner’s mind.
 So, right up front, I am going to suggest that you try TWIM in this
way and let the breath or any other practice go for awhile; at least for
two weeks to a month to see what can happen. When you practice,
please follow the instructions VERY carefully and exactly.
Now,  these  instructions  were  given  by  me  on  July  3,  2000,  at  the
Washington  Buddhist  Vihàra  in  Washington,  DC  and  to  this  day,
they  have  not  changed  much  at  all.  They  include  the  practice  of
“Tranquil Wisdom Insight Meditation” (TWIM) and the practice of
the “Four Foundations of Mindfulness” at the same time.
These instructions may be a little different than what you are used
to, because this I have followed the instructions given in the suttas
very  closely.  If  you  practice  in  this  way,  the  end  results  can  bring
great benefit to you and all other people around you. This, in turn,
will bring true happiness in your daily life.


Loving-kindness Meditation
When  practicing  Loving-kindness  Meditation,  you  first  start  by
sending loving and kind thoughts to yourself. Begin by remembering
a time when you were happy. When the feeling of happiness arises,
it is a warm glowing or radiating feeling in the center of your chest.
Now,  when  this  feeling  arises,  make  a  very  sincere  wish  for  your
own happiness and feel that wish. “May I be happy”... “May I be
filled with joy”... “May I be peaceful and calm”... “May I be cheerful
and kind”, etc.
Make any wholesome sincere wish that has meaning for you, feel
the  wish  in  your  heart,  and  radiate  that  smiling  feeling.  The  key
word  here  is  “sincere”.  If  your  wish  isn’t  a  sincere  wish,  then  it
will turn into a mantra, that is, it may become a statement repeated
by rote, with no real meaning. Then you would be on the surface
repeating the statement while thinking about other things. So, it’s
really important that the wish you make for yourself, and later for
your spiritual friend, has real meaning for you and uses your whole
undivided attention. You then feel that wish and put that smiling
feeling into your heart and radiate it.
Don’t continually repeat the wish for happiness: “May I be happy...
may I be happy... may I be happy... may I be happy”. Make the wish
for  your  own  happiness  and  feel  that  wish  when  the  feeling  of
Loving-kindness begins to fade a little.
Relax Tension
The following step is a very important part of the meditation:

After every wish for your own happiness, please notice that there
is some slight tension or tightness in your head, in your mind. Let
it go. You do this by relaxing mind completely then smiling. Feel


mind open up and become calm, but, do this only one time.
If the tightness doesn’t go away, never mind, you will be able to let it
go while on the meditation object (your home base).
Don’t continually try to keep relaxing mind without coming back
to  the  home  base.  Always  softly  redirect  your  smiling  tranquil
attention back to the radiating of happiness.
One problem that many meditators seem to have is that they try too
hard! This meditation needs to be done with a soft relaxed mind,
not pushing or making mind stay on the Loving-kindness. If you
try too hard then it will cause you to have a headache. So please do
this Loving-kindness lightly, have fun with meditation, and smile
a lot. The more you smile, the easier the meditation becomes, and
your mindfulness will improve by leaps and bounds.
How to Sit
When  you  sit  in  meditation  please  do  not  move  your  body  at  all.
Sit with your back nicely straight, but not rigid. Try to have every
vertebrae stacked comfortably one on top of the other. This position
has the tendency to bring your chest up a little, so it can be easier to
radiate the feeling of love and the wish.
Sit with your legs in a comfortable position. If you cross them too
tightly, the circulation in your legs may stop, causing your legs to
go to sleep and this becomes very painful. If you need to sit on a
cushion or even in a chair, that is okay. If you sit in a chair, however,
please don’t heavily lean back into it. Leaning heavily back stops
the energy flow up your back and can make you feel sleepy. Just sit
in a comfortable way.
The  most  important  part  of  this  is  to  sit  completely  still.  Please


don’t move your body at all while sitting. Don’t wiggle your toes;
don’t wiggle your fingers; don’t scratch; don’t rub; don’t rock your
body; don’t change your posture at all. In fact, if you can sit as still
as a Buddha image, this would be the best! If you move around, it
becomes a big distraction to your practice and you won’t progress
very quickly at all.
While you are sitting, radiating the warm—glowing feeling of Loving-
kindness in the center of your chest, making and feeling the sincere
wish,  and  feeling  that  wish  in  your  heart,  your  mind  will  wander
away and begin to think about other things. This is normal.
Arising Thoughts
Thoughts are never your enemy! So, please don’t fight with them
or try to push them away or try to suppress them. When a series
of  thoughts  come  up  to  take  you  away  from  your  meditation
object, notice that you are not smiling or experiencing the feeling
of  Loving-kindness  and  making  a  wish  for  your  own  happiness.
Then, simply let go of the thought. This means to let the thought be
there by itself without keeping your attention on it. Even if you are
in mid-sentence, just let go of the thought, don’t keep your attention
on it, let it be there by itself. This is done by not continuing to think
the thought, no matter how important it seems at that time.
At this point there is another very important step:
Notice Tension
Notice the tightness or tension in your head/mind, now relax.
There are two halves to everyone’s brain. There is a membrane
called the “meninges” surrounding these two halves. Every time
a  thought,  feeling,  or  sensation  arises  this  membrane  tightens
around the brain.


This tightness is how craving (tanhà) can be recognized and let go
of. This is also called the cause of suffering or the “Second Noble
Truth”. Relaxing this tightness is the way of letting go of craving
which  is  called  the  cessation  of  suffering  or  the  “Third  Noble
Truth”! Feel the tightness open. The brain (a part of the body) and
mind feels like it expands and relaxes. It then becomes very tranquil
and calm.
At this time there are no thoughts and mind is exceptionally clear,
alert, and pure because now there is no more craving or clinging.
Immediately  smile  and  then  bring  that  soft  smiling  mind  back  to
your  object  of  meditation,  that  is,  the  feeling  of  Loving-kindness
and making and feeling the wish for your own happiness.
It doesn’t matter how many times your mind goes away and thinks
about  other  things.  What  really  matters  is  that  you  see  “HOW”
your mind has become distracted by a thought. The same method
holds  true  even  for  any  sensation  or  emotional  feeling  that  pulls
your attention to it. In that case just notice “HOW” the movement
of mind’s attention occurs, “HOW” mind becomes distracted, and
let that distraction go.
Now, relax the tightness or tension in your head/mind, softly smile
and redirect your calm attention back to the object of meditation.
Strengthen Awareness
Learn to let go of any distraction, make a wish for your happiness,
and  then  relax  the  tightness  caused  by  the  movement  of  mind’s
attention,  and  redirect  your  smiling  tranquil  attention  back  to
the  feeling  of  being  happy.  Every  time  you  return  to  the  Loving-
kindness  and  make  that  wish  and  smile,  you  are  strengthening
your  mindfulness  (observation  power).  Please,  don’t  criticize
yourself because you think that you “should” do better, or that your


thoughts, feeling, sensations and emotional feelings are the enemy
to be squashed and destroyed.
These kinds of critical hard-hearted thoughts and feelings contain
aversion,  and  aversion  is  the  opposite  of  the  practice  of  “Loving-
Acceptance”. Loving-kindness and Loving-Acceptance are different
words that say basically the same thing. So please be kind to yourself.
Make this a fun kind of game to play with, not an enemy to fight
with.
The  importance  of  relaxing  the  tightness  or  tension  after  every
thought,  sensation,  or  emotional  feeling  can’t  be  stated  enough.
When you let go of this tightness you are letting go of craving. It
is very important to understand this because craving is the cause
of all suffering. This tightness or tension is where our wrong idea
about ego-identification occurs. This is how the personal perspective
(wrong view) arises.

Craving and Ego-Identification
Craving and the false idea of a personal “self” (“I”, “Me”, “Mine”)
always manifests as tightness or tension in your head/mind. When
you  let  go  of  tightness,  what  you  are  actually  doing  is  letting  go
of  craving  and  the  false  idea  of  a  personal  “self”.  You  are  letting
go of “ego-identification” with all of the thoughts, bodily feelings,
sensations,  and  emotional  feelings,  opinions,  concepts,  etc.  that
arise. This is referred to as clinging (upàdàna). When you let go of
this tightness in mind (craving) you don’t have clinging arise, which
means that all these thoughts, opinions, concepts, ideas, and stories
about  why  you  like  or  dislike  things  won’t  arise  to  disturb  mind
and  pull  your  attention  away  from  relaxing  and  having  fun  with
your  meditation.  This  is  how  you  purify  your  mind  and  become
happier and more uplifted, all of the time!


While you are sitting still, there may be some sensations that arise in
your body. You may feel an itch, heat, tension, a feeling of coughing
or wanting to sneeze, or pain. Please don’t move your body at all.
When such a feeling arises, your mind will immediately go to that
feeling, let’s say an itch or cough.   You  don’t  have  to  direct
mind, it goes by itself. The first thing mind does is think about the
feeling: “I wish this would go away.”... “I want this to stop bothering
me.”...  “I  hate  this  feeling.”...  “Why  doesn’t  it  just  go  away?”...  “I
want this to stop.”
Every  time  you  entertain  these  kinds  of  thought,  the  sensation
becomes bigger and more intense. It actually turns into an emergency
in your mind. Then you won’t be able to stand it anymore, and you
have  to  move.  But  the  instructions  are:  don’t  move  your  body
for  any  reason  at  all.  Watch  the  movements  of  mind’s  attention
instead.
So what can you do? You need to open up and allow the feeling to
be there, without trying to change it or make it go away:
Opening Up
First, notice that your mind’s attention has gone to the itch or cough,
etc.,  and  the  thoughts  about  that  sensation.  Now,  let  go  of  those
thoughts, simply let them be there without keeping your attention
on them. Next notice the tightness in your head/mind and relax.
Every time a sensation (or emotional feeling) arises, it is only natural
for mind to wrap a mental tight fist around it; this tight mental fist
is aversion.   So, open up and allow the itch (or emotional feeling)
to be there. Remember that it is okay if the tightness doesn’t go away
immediately.
The  “Truth  (Dhamma)  of  the  present  moment”,  is  that  when  an


itch or any other sensation arises, it is there. What you do with this
Dhamma  dictates  whether  you  will  suffer  more  unnecessarily  or
not. Resisting the itch and trying to think it away, trying to make it
different than it is, produces more both subtle and gross pain.
Five Aggregates
We have five different things or bunches of things that make up this
mind/body process, they are called the Five Aggregates.
They are:
Physical Body (1.  kàya)
Feeling (2.  vedanà)
Perception (3.  sannà)
Thought (formations—4.  sankhara)
Consciousness (5.  vinnàna)
As  you  can  see  feelings,  are  one  thing  and  thoughts  (formations)
are another. If you try to control your feelings with your thoughts,
the  resistance  that  you  have  to  this  feeling  causes  it  to  get  bigger
and more intense. In fact, it becomes so big that it turns into a true
emergency (real un-satisfactoriness—dukkha), and you can’t stand
the  sensation  (or  emotional  feeling)  anymore.  Then  you  have  to
move. While you are sitting in meditation, if you move your body
even a little bit, it breaks the continuity of practice and you have to
start over again.
Letting go of the thoughts about the sensation (or emotional feeling)
means  that  you  are  letting  them  be  there  by  themselves  without
keeping  your  attention  on  them.  The  want  to  control  the  feeling
with  your  thoughts  is  only  natural,  but,  it  leads  to  immeasurable
amounts of suffering! It also means that you are letting go of craving
when you relax, which directly leads to the cessation of suffering.


Next, you notice the tight mental fist wrapped around the sensation,
and,  let  go  of  that  aversion  to  it.  Simply  allow  the  itch  or  cough
(sensation or emotional feeling) to be there by itself. See it as if it were
a bubble floating in the air and let the bubble float freely. Whichever
way the  wind blows,  the  bubble  will  float  in  that  direction.  If  the
wind  changes  and  blows  in  another  direction,  the  bubble  goes  in
that direction without any resistance at all.
This  practice  is  learning  how  to  lovingly-accept  whatever  arises
in the present moment. Now, again notice that subtle tightness or
tension  in  your  head/mind,  relax,  smile,  and  softly  redirect  your
gentle  loving  attention  back  to  the  feeling  of  radiating  love  from
your heart and making a wish for your own happiness.
The 6R’s:
The  true  nature  of  these  kinds  of  feeling  (which  includes  both
mental and emotional feelings), and sensations are that they don’t
go  away  right  away.  So,  your  mind  will  bounce  back  and  forth
from your object of meditation and to that feeling (that is smiling,
radiating the feeling of love, and then making and feeling a sincere
wish for your happiness). Every time this happens you use the 6R’s
which are:
*Recognize – *Release – *Relax – *Re-smile – *Return – *Repeat
The 6R’s is the way to remember this practice:
Recognize:  Be  alert  or  mindful  with  what  arises  in  the  present
moment.  Recognize  any  distractions  that  pull  mind’s  attention
from the meditation object.
Release: Let go of any thoughts, sensations or emotional feelings.
Remember its O.K. for that thought, sensation, or emotional feeling


to  be  there  because  that  is  the  truth  (Dhamma)  of  the  present
moment. Allow the thought, sensation, or emotional feeling to be,
without trying to make it be anything other than it is.
Relax: Relax the tightness! Let go of the tight mental fist around the
feeling and let it be. Tranquilize both body and mind.
Re-Smile:  Remember  that  this  is  a  smiling  meditation  and  it  is
helpful to smile as much as possible.
Return:  Come  back  to  your  object  of  meditation  by  gently  re-
directing  your  tranquil  attention  back  to  radiating  the  feeling  of
love,  making  a  sincere  wish  for  your  happiness,  and  feeling  that
wish in your heart.
Repeat:  Continue  on  with  your  meditation  of  radiating  Loving-
kindness,  making  and  feeling  the  wish,  and  visualizing  your
spiritual friend for as long as you can.

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