The Breath of Love
Author
Most Venerable Bhante Vimalaramsi Mahàthera
2
Loving-kindness
Meditation
One of the favorite things I like to do with students who have ever
practiced the breath meditation without the 6R’s, is to ask them to
take Mettà as their object of meditation while they learning TWIM
first. I do this because it is easier for them to progress without
having to break old bad habits from a previous practice, before they
can learn to 6R smoothly.
IF they are not progressing extremely well, later on, they can decide
to go back to the breath. But usually students do not because of how
much emphasis the Buddha placed on practicing this meditation in
the texts. The Loving-kindness Meditation was practiced far more
often then the Breathing Meditation. When bad habits are already
operating with breath mediation it makes is very hard to investigate
a new practice. If their cup is full they have to empty it before they
can taste something new. If you can learn Loving-kindness from an
empty cup, you are in great shape with a beginner’s mind.
So, right up front, I am going to suggest that you try TWIM in this
way and let the breath or any other practice go for awhile; at least for
two weeks to a month to see what can happen. When you practice,
please follow the instructions VERY carefully and exactly.
Now, these instructions were given by me on July 3, 2000, at the
Washington Buddhist Vihàra in Washington, DC and to this day,
they have not changed much at all. They include the practice of
“Tranquil Wisdom Insight Meditation” (TWIM) and the practice of
the “Four Foundations of Mindfulness” at the same time.
These instructions may be a little different than what you are used
to, because this I have followed the instructions given in the suttas
very closely. If you practice in this way, the end results can bring
great benefit to you and all other people around you. This, in turn,
will bring true happiness in your daily life.
Loving-kindness Meditation
When practicing Loving-kindness Meditation, you first start by
sending loving and kind thoughts to yourself. Begin by remembering
a time when you were happy. When the feeling of happiness arises,
it is a warm glowing or radiating feeling in the center of your chest.
Now, when this feeling arises, make a very sincere wish for your
own happiness and feel that wish. “May I be happy”... “May I be
filled with joy”... “May I be peaceful and calm”... “May I be cheerful
and kind”, etc.
Make any wholesome sincere wish that has meaning for you, feel
the wish in your heart, and radiate that smiling feeling. The key
word here is “sincere”. If your wish isn’t a sincere wish, then it
will turn into a mantra, that is, it may become a statement repeated
by rote, with no real meaning. Then you would be on the surface
repeating the statement while thinking about other things. So, it’s
really important that the wish you make for yourself, and later for
your spiritual friend, has real meaning for you and uses your whole
undivided attention. You then feel that wish and put that smiling
feeling into your heart and radiate it.
Don’t continually repeat the wish for happiness: “May I be happy...
may I be happy... may I be happy... may I be happy”. Make the wish
for your own happiness and feel that wish when the feeling of
Loving-kindness begins to fade a little.
Relax Tension
The following step is a very important part of the meditation:
After every wish for your own happiness, please notice that there
is some slight tension or tightness in your head, in your mind. Let
it go. You do this by relaxing mind completely then smiling. Feel
mind open up and become calm, but, do this only one time.
If the tightness doesn’t go away, never mind, you will be able to let it
go while on the meditation object (your home base).
Don’t continually try to keep relaxing mind without coming back
to the home base. Always softly redirect your smiling tranquil
attention back to the radiating of happiness.
One problem that many meditators seem to have is that they try too
hard! This meditation needs to be done with a soft relaxed mind,
not pushing or making mind stay on the Loving-kindness. If you
try too hard then it will cause you to have a headache. So please do
this Loving-kindness lightly, have fun with meditation, and smile
a lot. The more you smile, the easier the meditation becomes, and
your mindfulness will improve by leaps and bounds.
How to Sit
When you sit in meditation please do not move your body at all.
Sit with your back nicely straight, but not rigid. Try to have every
vertebrae stacked comfortably one on top of the other. This position
has the tendency to bring your chest up a little, so it can be easier to
radiate the feeling of love and the wish.
Sit with your legs in a comfortable position. If you cross them too
tightly, the circulation in your legs may stop, causing your legs to
go to sleep and this becomes very painful. If you need to sit on a
cushion or even in a chair, that is okay. If you sit in a chair, however,
please don’t heavily lean back into it. Leaning heavily back stops
the energy flow up your back and can make you feel sleepy. Just sit
in a comfortable way.
The most important part of this is to sit completely still. Please
don’t move your body at all while sitting. Don’t wiggle your toes;
don’t wiggle your fingers; don’t scratch; don’t rub; don’t rock your
body; don’t change your posture at all. In fact, if you can sit as still
as a Buddha image, this would be the best! If you move around, it
becomes a big distraction to your practice and you won’t progress
very quickly at all.
While you are sitting, radiating the warm—glowing feeling of Loving-
kindness in the center of your chest, making and feeling the sincere
wish, and feeling that wish in your heart, your mind will wander
away and begin to think about other things. This is normal.
Arising Thoughts
Thoughts are never your enemy! So, please don’t fight with them
or try to push them away or try to suppress them. When a series
of thoughts come up to take you away from your meditation
object, notice that you are not smiling or experiencing the feeling
of Loving-kindness and making a wish for your own happiness.
Then, simply let go of the thought. This means to let the thought be
there by itself without keeping your attention on it. Even if you are
in mid-sentence, just let go of the thought, don’t keep your attention
on it, let it be there by itself. This is done by not continuing to think
the thought, no matter how important it seems at that time.
At this point there is another very important step:
Notice Tension
Notice the tightness or tension in your head/mind, now relax.
There are two halves to everyone’s brain. There is a membrane
called the “meninges” surrounding these two halves. Every time
a thought, feeling, or sensation arises this membrane tightens
around the brain.
This tightness is how craving (tanhà) can be recognized and let go
of. This is also called the cause of suffering or the “Second Noble
Truth”. Relaxing this tightness is the way of letting go of craving
which is called the cessation of suffering or the “Third Noble
Truth”! Feel the tightness open. The brain (a part of the body) and
mind feels like it expands and relaxes. It then becomes very tranquil
and calm.
At this time there are no thoughts and mind is exceptionally clear,
alert, and pure because now there is no more craving or clinging.
Immediately smile and then bring that soft smiling mind back to
your object of meditation, that is, the feeling of Loving-kindness
and making and feeling the wish for your own happiness.
It doesn’t matter how many times your mind goes away and thinks
about other things. What really matters is that you see “HOW”
your mind has become distracted by a thought. The same method
holds true even for any sensation or emotional feeling that pulls
your attention to it. In that case just notice “HOW” the movement
of mind’s attention occurs, “HOW” mind becomes distracted, and
let that distraction go.
Now, relax the tightness or tension in your head/mind, softly smile
and redirect your calm attention back to the object of meditation.
Strengthen Awareness
Learn to let go of any distraction, make a wish for your happiness,
and then relax the tightness caused by the movement of mind’s
attention, and redirect your smiling tranquil attention back to
the feeling of being happy. Every time you return to the Loving-
kindness and make that wish and smile, you are strengthening
your mindfulness (observation power). Please, don’t criticize
yourself because you think that you “should” do better, or that your
thoughts, feeling, sensations and emotional feelings are the enemy
to be squashed and destroyed.
These kinds of critical hard-hearted thoughts and feelings contain
aversion, and aversion is the opposite of the practice of “Loving-
Acceptance”. Loving-kindness and Loving-Acceptance are different
words that say basically the same thing. So please be kind to yourself.
Make this a fun kind of game to play with, not an enemy to fight
with.
The importance of relaxing the tightness or tension after every
thought, sensation, or emotional feeling can’t be stated enough.
When you let go of this tightness you are letting go of craving. It
is very important to understand this because craving is the cause
of all suffering. This tightness or tension is where our wrong idea
about ego-identification occurs. This is how the personal perspective
(wrong view) arises.
Craving and Ego-Identification
Craving and the false idea of a personal “self” (“I”, “Me”, “Mine”)
always manifests as tightness or tension in your head/mind. When
you let go of tightness, what you are actually doing is letting go
of craving and the false idea of a personal “self”. You are letting
go of “ego-identification” with all of the thoughts, bodily feelings,
sensations, and emotional feelings, opinions, concepts, etc. that
arise. This is referred to as clinging (upàdàna). When you let go of
this tightness in mind (craving) you don’t have clinging arise, which
means that all these thoughts, opinions, concepts, ideas, and stories
about why you like or dislike things won’t arise to disturb mind
and pull your attention away from relaxing and having fun with
your meditation. This is how you purify your mind and become
happier and more uplifted, all of the time!
While you are sitting still, there may be some sensations that arise in
your body. You may feel an itch, heat, tension, a feeling of coughing
or wanting to sneeze, or pain. Please don’t move your body at all.
When such a feeling arises, your mind will immediately go to that
feeling, let’s say an itch or cough. You don’t have to direct
mind, it goes by itself. The first thing mind does is think about the
feeling: “I wish this would go away.”... “I want this to stop bothering
me.”... “I hate this feeling.”... “Why doesn’t it just go away?”... “I
want this to stop.”
Every time you entertain these kinds of thought, the sensation
becomes bigger and more intense. It actually turns into an emergency
in your mind. Then you won’t be able to stand it anymore, and you
have to move. But the instructions are: don’t move your body
for any reason at all. Watch the movements of mind’s attention
instead.
So what can you do? You need to open up and allow the feeling to
be there, without trying to change it or make it go away:
Opening Up
First, notice that your mind’s attention has gone to the itch or cough,
etc., and the thoughts about that sensation. Now, let go of those
thoughts, simply let them be there without keeping your attention
on them. Next notice the tightness in your head/mind and relax.
Every time a sensation (or emotional feeling) arises, it is only natural
for mind to wrap a mental tight fist around it; this tight mental fist
is aversion. So, open up and allow the itch (or emotional feeling)
to be there. Remember that it is okay if the tightness doesn’t go away
immediately.
The “Truth (Dhamma) of the present moment”, is that when an
itch or any other sensation arises, it is there. What you do with this
Dhamma dictates whether you will suffer more unnecessarily or
not. Resisting the itch and trying to think it away, trying to make it
different than it is, produces more both subtle and gross pain.
Five Aggregates
We have five different things or bunches of things that make up this
mind/body process, they are called the Five Aggregates.
They are:
Physical Body (1. kàya)
Feeling (2. vedanà)
Perception (3. sannà)
Thought (formations—4. sankhara)
Consciousness (5. vinnàna)
As you can see feelings, are one thing and thoughts (formations)
are another. If you try to control your feelings with your thoughts,
the resistance that you have to this feeling causes it to get bigger
and more intense. In fact, it becomes so big that it turns into a true
emergency (real un-satisfactoriness—dukkha), and you can’t stand
the sensation (or emotional feeling) anymore. Then you have to
move. While you are sitting in meditation, if you move your body
even a little bit, it breaks the continuity of practice and you have to
start over again.
Letting go of the thoughts about the sensation (or emotional feeling)
means that you are letting them be there by themselves without
keeping your attention on them. The want to control the feeling
with your thoughts is only natural, but, it leads to immeasurable
amounts of suffering! It also means that you are letting go of craving
when you relax, which directly leads to the cessation of suffering.
Next, you notice the tight mental fist wrapped around the sensation,
and, let go of that aversion to it. Simply allow the itch or cough
(sensation or emotional feeling) to be there by itself. See it as if it were
a bubble floating in the air and let the bubble float freely. Whichever
way the wind blows, the bubble will float in that direction. If the
wind changes and blows in another direction, the bubble goes in
that direction without any resistance at all.
This practice is learning how to lovingly-accept whatever arises
in the present moment. Now, again notice that subtle tightness or
tension in your head/mind, relax, smile, and softly redirect your
gentle loving attention back to the feeling of radiating love from
your heart and making a wish for your own happiness.
The 6R’s:
The true nature of these kinds of feeling (which includes both
mental and emotional feelings), and sensations are that they don’t
go away right away. So, your mind will bounce back and forth
from your object of meditation and to that feeling (that is smiling,
radiating the feeling of love, and then making and feeling a sincere
wish for your happiness). Every time this happens you use the 6R’s
which are:
*Recognize – *Release – *Relax – *Re-smile – *Return – *Repeat
The 6R’s is the way to remember this practice:
Recognize: Be alert or mindful with what arises in the present
moment. Recognize any distractions that pull mind’s attention
from the meditation object.
Release: Let go of any thoughts, sensations or emotional feelings.
Remember its O.K. for that thought, sensation, or emotional feeling
to be there because that is the truth (Dhamma) of the present
moment. Allow the thought, sensation, or emotional feeling to be,
without trying to make it be anything other than it is.
Relax: Relax the tightness! Let go of the tight mental fist around the
feeling and let it be. Tranquilize both body and mind.
Re-Smile: Remember that this is a smiling meditation and it is
helpful to smile as much as possible.
Return: Come back to your object of meditation by gently re-
directing your tranquil attention back to radiating the feeling of
love, making a sincere wish for your happiness, and feeling that
wish in your heart.
Repeat: Continue on with your meditation of radiating Loving-
kindness, making and feeling the wish, and visualizing your
spiritual friend for as long as you can.
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